We previously discussed a variety of helpful tips to Get Your Child to Listen.
We’d like to share 3 powerful strategies to reduce stress and improve communication with your child.
1) RESPOND RATHER THAN REACT
When your child does something that you don’t approve of, don’t automatically react to it.
Take a few seconds and ask yourself two important questions:
1. What is my end goal in this situation?
2. How can I best achieve it?
Let’s take an example:
Your child was playing ball in the house (even though you said not to) and broke a picture frame.
Your initial reaction may be to yell at your child and give a punishment that you may not follow through on.
Before you begin yelling, answer the two questions from above:
1. My end goal is for my child to listen to my expectations and not play ball in the house.
2. I can best achieve this by showing my child that actions have consequences and give my child an opportunity to fix the problem.
Your improved response may sound something like this:
“We don’t play ball in the house because of what just happened. I’m taking money from your allowance this week to pay for a replacement.”
Then, you and your child can install the new picture frame together. This shows that you want your child to learn from this and be a part of the solution.
2) ACT UNEMOTIONAL
When your child does something wrong, you can act one of two ways: emotionally or unemotionally.
It’s a good idea to experiment with acting unemotionally and see what happens.
While it’s not easy to act unemotional, especially in the heat of the moment, it can lead to great results.
Let’s take the example from above.
Instead of yelling at your child for breaking the picture, speak with your child in a deliberate, unemotional tone. And just stick to the facts of what happened:
“You played ball in the house and now the frame is broken. We don’t play ball in the house because of things like this. We’re going to take your allowance money to replace the frame.”
You can even try asking your child how to resolve the problem:
“The frame is broken. What do you think we should do about it?”
This is powerful because you aren’t putting down or judging your child.
Instead, you are just stating what happened and how you’re going to deal with it.
3) SELECTIVE ENGAGEMENT
Responding to everything your child does can be a daunting and stressful task.
It’s advisable to pick your battles.
Obviously, it’s important to address issues that are salient. But, it’s just not worth it to confront every single undesirable thing your child does.
You have the power to ignore things and deflect certain situations.
Being selective in your battles can lead to a less stressed and closer relationship with your child.
Overall, these 3 techniques can help your child learn about responsibility, consequences, and resolving problems.
Would you like to learn more about helping your child become a more focused and attentive student?
Contact us today!
You can also call us 212-706-1044 or email us.
We look forward to hearing from you!